Checking in tomorrow!!

Tomorrow we're checking into the hospital at 5 a.m.  I've been busy getting ready to go in--it seems like each time I've been in the hospital (4 babies and 2 back surgeries = 6 hospital stays, tomorrow makes lucky # 7...)  I tend to lose time.  I feel like I've entered another world where work, parenting, bills...all responsibilities feel distant to me.  So, I've tried to make sure I've paid some essential bills, left detailed notes for my mom and Michael about the schedule for the kids this week, submitted my final grades for the semester, and set my email to reply for "out of office". 

We also got a new piece of furniture in the house for recovery! My parents gifted me an awesome supportive chair that will help me have good posture with my back brace while having some sense of comfort.  It looks super cute in our living room and looks great with my couch (bonus).  I've been told that I will be spending the coming weeks--up to probably 3 months, primarily walking, sitting upright for no more than 20 minutes, or lying down.

For the last surgery I had a surge of "nesting" where I cleaned everything in site before I went into the hospital.  That didn't happen this time.  Probably because Michael has had to do so much over the course of the last 5 months that I don't feel as panicked, I know that he'll continue to pull through for me as he has been.  Plus it's really hard on my back when I bend and so basically the things that I can clean well are things that are at arm-reach level.  That is about 5% of what actually needs cleaned in the house it seems......Good thing I have four little people this summer that I can get to help me more.  I've got to let go of my own standard of cleanliness in order to let them help me....that's the hard part.  And I probably don't have that high of a standard compared to the norm....

Tonight I'll try to go to bed by 9. Michael and I will wake up at 4 and head out by 4:40.  I'm pretty sure I need to be fasting, I guess it'd be smart of me to figure out the time that's supposed to start....
I also have to do this whole-body wipe down with this sticky substance that tends to burn my sensitive skin.  It's worth it if it minimizes the chance for infection. 

To be honest I feel a weird sense of dread and doom about tomorrow.  Which I realize is ridiculous.  I do trust that I'm in God's care and hands, but I can't stop the little voice in the back of my head that wants me to be worried and a bit anxious about tomorrow's outcome. 

My parents are here to help and so that's awesome.  My dad is here until Wednesday and my mom is here until Sunday, at which point my mother-in-law will come for a few days and then my best friend from college for a few days.  I'm so glad that we have people in our lives willing to come and stay and support our family.  We're definitely surrounded by love. 

Well, that's all for now.  The next time I blog will have titanium in me.  I'm guessing these rods and screws will somehow give me super powers and I will most likely be a Marvel Superhero.  So, just be prepared for that.