Starting this Blog....

I am, by nature, an information seeker.  When faced with a life-altering issue I tend to dive myself into the Google world and try to find any scrap of information that can help me understand the issue more.  When we were new parents to our second oldest who was born with a muscle and chromosome disorder, we were told by some service providers to not search the internet for information, it would just overwhelm us.  But I think the best advice we got was from our geneticist.  Upon delivering the news that he had narrowed down Noah's diagnosis, he told us to Google...to search for information.  He seemed to understand that in a world where we have no control over these big issues...that the comfort in controlling a keyboard for a small time was important to parents.  He did advise us to be cautious---to understand that when we Google his diagnosis to expect a laundry list...a cumulative list of every possible symptom or scenario and to realize that only a fraction of the ocean of information would actually apply to our child.  But by all means, we should educate ourselves.

I find myself back in that search mode again as I deal with an upcoming spinal fusion surgery (TLIF).  I'm googling, reading medical journal articles (fascinated that I am becoming a more savvy at understanding those articles), lurking on health boards, etc.  And again, I am faced with an ocean of information.  What seems to be the most helpful and encouraging are the blogs that help tell a more contextual story of the patient's recovery.  They tend to weave the good and the bad together to paint a more realistic, but hopeful, picture.  

There really aren't any blogs out there that I've been able to find with same demographic as me...particularly being young (yes, young :-) and female.  So, I've decided to start this blog, in the event that a few years down the road someone like me will be googling, looking for information, ideas, and comfort.  And maybe this blog can help just one person get through some of this rough stuff.  And perhaps for myself...maybe a year from now I can look back at this and think..."Hey, that was me...I did that!".  

So, I should start off with a brief introduction.

Who I am....

I am a 34-year old woman from the Mid-West.  I am a wife and mom of 4 young children, my oldest is 8 and my youngest is 3.  I am, indeed, overweight.  But my 5 year old told me just this morning that I am not a "Large Mommy", so I guess I have that going for me.  I want to be more active than I am but my chronic pain has truly been a barrier that I have not been able to overcome.  I am a professor at a small Liberal Arts College, which allows for a great balance of sitting, standing, and walking.  I am thankful that I am not in a job where I have to sit all day, I know my back could not handle it.  I am also thankful that my job has me on a 9-month contract for the year, making me available for both surgery and recovery this year. I am also a Christian who believes that even though crappy things happen to good people that I can use my story to help or encourage others, even in the most minor of ways.  I believe that my story is not my own, but also God's and that it is somehow significant or useful beyond the walls of my own home.  

Background of my Spine Health...

It's hard for me to remember how long it's been since I first started having issues....I think it really all began in August of 2010.  I sat most of the summer of 2010 studying for my preliminary exams, a requirement for the Ph.D. program I was in.  By the end of the summer, I could feel water dripping on my right foot as I was studying.  Much to my surprise, there was no water dripping.  That was the beginning of the nerve involvement.  Pain began a little later that fall, I had an x-ray done and found out that later on that the x-ray showed degenerative disc disease and spinal stenosis in my lowest two discs.  Not an uncommon finding in general, but it was uncommon given my age. Eventually that pain resolved.  

Fast forward to June of 2011.  I was as healthy and active as I had ever been.  I ran my first 5K with my college best friend.  A month later, I packed our house to prepare us for a move across town.  The very last thing I packed was our shower curtain.  I looped all of the rings together on a single ring.  As snapped the ring together to hold the bunch I felt and swore I heard a small rip in my lower back.  For some reason I just knew that I was done for.  

The following months were marked with a lot of physical therapy by an amazing physical therapist, steroid injections, and all kinds of anti-inflammatory and pain medications.  It just wasn't working.  The pain my right leg, as well as the numbness and tingling were too much.  I was not sleeping at night and the pain was unbearable.  That led me to my first disectomy surgery on 

L5-S1 in October of 2011.  

I was amazed with the initial results of the surgery.  No numbness, no tingling, no pre-surgery pain, just post-surgery discomfort and recovery.  Then something happened.  A turn for the worse.  Not sure what happened but I knew something was wrong.  A follow-up MRI done in January of 2012 showed what I fearful of---a re-herniation.  Through ibuprofen and gentle activity I was able to handle and cope with the pain, even make it through yet another move, until the following late-fall. And then it became unbearable again.  This time the symptoms include INSANE muscle-wrenching spasms in my right leg.  I quickly found myself having my 2nd disectomy on L5-S1 in January of 2013.  

Four weeks post surgery (Mid-February) I did it again while simply paper-punching some papers with a 3-hole punch.  It was clear that the degenerative disc disease and stenosis was dictating my spine health.  Weeks continued to pass and symptoms were worse and worse.  I am actually in worse shape now than I was prior to surgery #2.  

After another MRI, several visits to my surgeon, and a discogram to get a handle on what exactly is going on with my lower back, we've come to the point where the next answer to all of this is a spinal fusion of L4-L5 and L5-S1.  It's a TLIF.  I'll be going into the hospital in just a few days.  I will blog again before the surgery to talk more about how I've prepared and plan to blog in the following several weeks.

I hope that this blog can help at least one person as they Google for stories at 2 a.m.  I hope that I can bring a message that is both realistic and encouraging.